A grief rememberance

And she’s off again, this time heading across the country to Kyoto - I’m taking the bullet train (approx 200-300mph) there from Fuji. Fuji was an absolutely treasured experience. In Kyoto i will visit the historic reiki sites such as mt Kurama (where reiki was first discovered.) reiki is such a potent part of my work and i feel so honored to go to its place of discovery by Master Usui

As i arrived in Kyoto i began to felt the sensation of grief - i wasn’t sure where it was coming from but being in the city again after the glorious time spent in the mountains felt like a clawing sensation.

I am truly meant for the wild- the wilderness- the divinity that exists in nature speaks to my soul on a cellular level.

I have little to no interest in tourism…

So anyways - spent a few days in Kyoto - this place i thought would be really important - with a sense of blankness, not in an expansive way, but in a way like it was time to make a dramatic shift in my timeline.

Further as i was planning my travels south everywhere i was looking was just not sparking joy. So i tried my hand at deeper surrender.

I slept and then climbed the mountain where my teacher Usui discovered his Reiki abilities so many moons ago.

As i reached the mountain i walked miles up this road to discover the peace that exists in the forest there. I felt myself walking the ley lines of the planet and it was sort of electric. These woods held things beyond my understanding of the human realm.

After a long while i decided to head back and check out the temple thats been built over mt kurama. My teacher Arkos from Mt. Fuji taught me that many temples built now are camouflage to the old sacred sites dedicated to the goddess. Upon entering the temple this is what i found.

My heart felt anger, rage, frustration. The imbalance that swept our planet so abundantly clear.

The sacred cedar tree that my teacher Usui sat by when discovering his powers of reiki were roped off , almost like it was pinning down the power source.

i climbed all the way to the top of the mountain -  praying for clarity on why i was here.

At the top i had to yet again surrender to what was occurring as the answers hadn’t come yet.

I made my way down & as i did i returned to the sacred cedar tree. I sat as close as i could and prayed and prayed and prayed. I meditated into communication with my teacher and just as i was reach in a peak point of understanding a Buddhist monk came rushing out in a loud way telling me no no no you cannot sit here you cannot be here. The scene was truly ironic.

I told him okay and began on my way, but my heart was bursting ❤️‍🔥 i began to feel the anger once again… the feeling that the energetics of this planet were being used out of integrity and only for those in power made me feel sick with grief. I cried and cried and cried. My inner child wept- my body began trembling as it does when i practice trauma release. I started remembering a life being torn from this mountain- the pain i felt - the longing, the loss. It was a potent remembering.

Afterwards all i could do was go back to my hotel, sleep & sleep & sleep.

The next day i woke a bit renewed, but still  grief present. I went to explore the famous Arashiyama bamboo forest - it was beautiful & the rain was pouring down upon me. I welcomed its cool remembrance of how sacred our waters are. I prayed for the healing and remembrance of the land. Of whats possible with balance. For deep reverence of the Goddess. After i went and visited a super sweet part of town that helped me feel the innocence of the average person here. I was also reminded that in order to call in the healing - that divine union of the masculine and feminine must return to the planet. I felt the honoring of the wisdom of both & this soothed me deeply.  After me and my inner child went to a monkey park where we got to see and feed monkeys living in their natural habitat. At one point i held my hand out and a mama monkey pressed her hand right on mine. I knew then she remembered too. We are truly all one. All species - deeply reinvigorated in this knowing.

After i made my way back into the city, enjoyed some delicious Ramen 😴.

As i was back in the city, i began to come into this deep understanding of how far a smile can go. Japan is beyond beautiful, but much of the culture is repressed when it comes to connection. A simple full hearted smile is a rare occurrence here and one that physically transforms the world around you. The shock on locals faces - paired with a sweet softening (or the occasional hardening) was deeply moving to me. It reminded me that joy is truly a super power.

I spent the rest of the day playing with this modality- i had moments feeling really low from a lack of reciprocation & moments feeling really joyous for the sake of feeling joyous. A dichotomy - per usual- such is life.

Something had been activated deep within, it was time to integrate. After some deep rest - i woke with clear intentions:

Today id make my way to the islands, leaving main land Japan. Further, i was going to Bali.

Ah the mystery continues to unfold.

Wishing each of you many blessings.

15 more days of my twenties.

What a ride.

Sincerely,

Maggie 🐉🪽❤️‍🔥🌹

PS feeling our feelings is such a gift, i think perhaps one of the greatest reasons we are here- maybe the greatest of all. Feel. Feel it again. Then feel it deeper.